The Eyes tell the story.
During this week’s lay chaplaincy visits at M.D. Anderson, I visited two couples who were in very different places. In both cases, the husband was the patient, and the wife the care giver. In both cases, hospitalization had been going on for a while.
In one case, the patient had been through a lot of difficult stuff. He was improving, but was still suffering from some delirium, and really wasn’t able to get up and around. I met his wife in the hallway, and as she gave me a positive-sounding update, her eyes said that she was worried and exhausted.
In the other case, the patient had also been through a lot, including a stem cell transplant, but was feeling good. He was up and about, wearing his own clothes, and playing card games with his wife. Her eyes were dancing, exuding hope that they were nearing the light at the end of the tunnel. She also gave a positive-sounding update about her husband’s condition.
The first wife was telling me what she wanted to believe. The second was telling me what she believed.
Their eyes told me the story behind the words, and the eyes also told me how to best respond to them to best support them where they were that day.
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