Difficult Seasons

Following Another's Lead

Sister Alice Potts, who established chaplaincy at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center and mentored so many who followed, taught the principle of following the patient’s lead.

Following the patient’s lead is a simple but powerful principle.  Your goal is to meet the patient where she or he is at that moment in time.

• Enter the patient’s room with a clear mind and neutral emotions.
• Take your cues from the patient.
  • Match the patient’s mood.  If he is quiet and subdued, be quiet and subdued.  If she is angry, join her anger.  If he is cheerful, be cheerful.
  • Match the patient’s speech pattern.  If she is talking quickly and animatedly, you talk quickly and animatedly.  If he is speaking slowly and without much expression, do the same.

Why follow the patient’s lead?  You follow because the visit is about the patient.  And it’s about making a connection with them and making them feel that you have really listened to them, that you empathized with them.

If, instead of following her lead, you impose your own mood, whether intentionally or not, you’ll fail to connect, and she won’t feel listened to.  You will not have met her where she is.

The principle also suggests that if the patient’s mood or manner of speaking changes during the visit, that your’s change as well.  It becomes the ebb and flow of being in sync with another human being.

Following the patient’s lead is about being fully present with them where they are during the time you are with him or her.  And that is a most precious gift for sure.

Photo Credit: Matthew (Purplemattfish)

Tags: being present, following patient's lead, hospital visits, mood, speaking pattern

This entry was posted on Friday, January 16th, 2009 at 3:39 am and is filed under hospital visits. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.