Difficult Seasons

Special Dates

Our minds and hearts are built to remember anniversaries of important dates to those we’ve lost.  In fact if our conscious self doesn’t remember, our subconscious will do it for us, and poke at us in various ways until it becomes conscious.

A member of the caregiver support group I lead on Sunday mornings told us that her mother has a great way of handling those few days each year.

Instead of letting anniversary days sneak up on her and then spending the day feeling down, she does several intentional things.

1. She marks the dates clearly on her calendar in advance.
2. She dedicates those days to serving the needs of someone else.

She makes her plans in advance, and finalizes her preparations early.

Then on the anniversary day, she goes and spends the day with one of her friends who is shut in, or who is lonely.  She takes snacks, or even a light lunch for them to share.  She honors the memory of her loved one through intentional service.

She’s not alone on these potentially difficult days, and she’s found a way to get outside herself.

What an amazing woman!  And what a wonderful idea.

How can you build on this idea?  How can you use it to help your loved ones deal with their special days.

Tags: anniversaries, birthdays, grief, honoring loved one's memory

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 11th, 2009 at 3:48 am and is filed under Grief and Grieving. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.