Small Demands Are Still Demands
I’m tired as I write this on Sunday night. Being tired makes me grumpy.
I just opened a letter from Chevron, the company I retired from, that wants me to provide information that proves I am married to my wife of 41 years. If I don’t do so by May 27, they’ll stop her medical coverage. They’re trying to find people they’re providing medical coverage for that they shouldn’t be in order to save money. So they’re threatening some 50,000 people to get the information they need.
Providing a few facts is not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things. But when you’re tired, you don’t care about helping them. It’s just something else you have to do that has a deadline. It’s just someone else wanting some of your time, some of your energy, that’s already in short supply. And just someone else threatening you to make sure you give it to them.
So when I finish this post, I’ll go fill out the form and stick it in the envelope. Tomorrow I’ll mail it. I’ll do it because medical coverage is important.
But frankly, Chevron lost a chunk of goodwill with me because of the way they did this. I don’t enjoy being threatened, bullied. I would have been a little happier if they’d said something like, “We understand what a pain this is, but we really need your help.” But they didn’t. They just said, “Do it or else.” Or that’s the way I read it because I’m tired.
I tell you this story to ask two questions.
- Is there a way you can conduct your business that creates less demands on the people you serve, or that at least recognizes the intrusion you are making? Goodwill is a precious commodity to squander.
- How do those of you who are always worn out because of full-time caregiving or illness — not just occasionally like me — deal with the barrage of demands that come your way?
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Isn’t it amazing how they think they can “push” people around. I have often wondered when this country started being run by corporations and politicians, instead of the People. We are so far from a Republic or Democracy that we are supposed to be. But these things aren’t taught in school anymore, so no one notices we are losing our rights and that our country isn’t the one we all think we still live in. I feel sorry for our veterans who gave their lives, or bodies to protect this country that isn’t what whey fought for anymore. My grandfather is a veteran who was injured in WWII, but he can’t get disability from the VA because all his records were burned. So this is how we treat those who fought for a freedom that no longer exists.
Sorry for rambling.
“Is there a way you can conduct your business that creates less demands on the people you serve, or that at least recognizes the intrusion you are making? Goodwill is a precious commodity to squander.” I attended a parenting seminar on Saturday. In my notes from the session on communication, I wrote “Words are arrows and signs that point to something else.” In a letter like the one you received from Chevron, the words pointed to the economic bottom line for the company. That is never good business–even if it is the realit–if you want to have a good relationship with those you serve. The person on the receiving end will always be much more amenable to the words that point to care for the “customer”–the kinds of empathetic words you suggested–even if, ultimately, the bottom line is still the bottom line.
in general–not necessarily in business, but there, too, at times–I have found that a very practical way of doing this is the “sandwich communication”–affirming, positive words at the beginning and end, even if there is a hard (perhaps unpleasant) truth to give as the heart of the communication. The key to being believed and received well in those cases is to be sure that the “bread” of the sandwich is hearty with the vitamins of kindness and sincerity.
Amy VanHuisen’s last blog post..3 Reasons Sudden Loss Hits Us So Hard
Amy and Sandy — Thanks for the comments.
I like your quote from your notes, Amy, and you’re right — some empathy goes a long way.
Guess it’s just human nature to want to push people around, Sandy, and sure a lot easier to do when you’re an impersonal corporation or government. But we don’t have to like it — and we don’t have to do it ourselves.