Underestimating the Power of Showing Up
I think I underestimate the impact of just showing up in a patient’s room.
I know I’ve written and spoken about the importance of presence. And I really do believe that just showing up is a really important part of what we do. It’s just that I still underestimate its real impact. I tend to think that the visits where I’ve had a deep conversation with a patient are where I’ve had real impact.
But a couple of recent incidents are helping me better realize the pure value of presence.
Recently a colleague who visits the same patients a couple of days after I do told me, “Several people commented about how important your visits were to them this week.”
I tried and tried, and for the life of me, I couldn’t think of a single visit that week that I thought was worthy of that compliment. It had been a week of visits without real engagement, without deep dialogue.
Then today, I entered a patient’s room and was greeted by name and treated like a lifelong friend. I was surprised because my only visit with these folks had been last week when they were both trying to rest and in which we only exchanged a couple of sentences and had prayer. I was probably in the room only three minutes total.
The only explanation is that there is simply a lot more impact on people from just showing up than I feel — even if it’s only for a couple of minutes and no real conversation happens.
I need to come to grips with the fact that what’s meaningful to patients may be different than what seems meaningful to me. God does amazing things with the simple act of being present, making a much greater impact that all of the listening and conversational skills I take pride in. So why is it so hard for us to learn and accept this simple truth?
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