Difficult Seasons

I’m concerned about burning out.

I don’t want to lose my passion, my drive, my desire.

And I’m concerned about you as well.  I don’t want you to hit the wall, to not have the energy to carry on.

All of us who care for and serve others, whether it’s our profession or something we do for family or as ministry, are candidates for burnout.

We have developed different phrases for this phenomenon.  Sometimes we call it compassion fatigue.  Sometimes we use the term, “hitting the wall.”  But “burnout” is probably the term that is most used.  Regardless of the label you put on it, it has the same results, and the causes are the same.

So I’ve decided to write a series of posts on Fighting Against Burnout.  I’m writing it for us.  For me, because I’m seeing some warning signs, and I need to renew my vigil and my protective actions.  For you, because what you do is too important to be compromised.

Here’s a question for you to think about as we begin.  How much reserve do you have in your life right now?  Enough to handle one more crisis?  Enough to take on one more assignment?  Enough to not feel stressed, overwhelmed?

Do you have a compassion defense mechanism?

You may think this is a strange question. But stay with me for a minute.

What’s your gut reaction when you’re given an opportunity to be compassionate, but either suspect or are warned that entering the situation may be painful or physically difficult to experience or emotionally disturbing?

Lots of us have a built-in defense mechanism that tells us to run the other way, to avoid the pain, the difficulty.  I think it was instilled in most of us in childhood by parents trying to protect us from seeing things or being in situations that were uncomfortable.

It’s probably even one of your life commands:  Avoid Painful Situations.

Some choose to disobey that life command, and all of us are thankful they do.  EMT’s respond to grisly accident scenes.  Doctors and nurses provide care for people suffering terrible diseases.  Palliative care and hospice folks help individuals and their families live their final months and days with dignity and good quality of life.  People like Mother Teresa care for lepers.  And the list goes on.

But never fail to understand — these folks that choose to show compassion pay a price.  As they encounter the pain of others, they experience their own pain.  And they are limited in how much of another’s pain they can encounter.

I know a number of these people.  I’m thankful for them.  They’re my heroes.

It was just strange.  Today’s visits at the hospital had a theme — the support of family and friends is precious.

As I went from patient to patient, the theme just jumped out.

It started with a patient getting ready for a stem cell transplant talking about how important his support network of friends and family are.  When we got ready to pray, he asked me to pray specifically for them, because they were going to be doubly important to him in the coming weeks.

I visited with a woman struggling with cancer whose daughter and son-in-law had come in from out of town to be with her.  The woman was struggling with news of her condition, as was her daughter.  But they were together.

In another room, I visited with with a couple who had only been in the country a few months.  He was dying, and they had no family or friends in the country to provide support, only a fellow employee.  I was thankful for this man providing support to this couple during an incredibly difficult time.

Then as I was getting a glass of tea in the cafeteria, I ran into a couple I had visited with many times in the past.  He helped her with her food as we sat and visited.  And we talked about how important having each other is.

What I observed today is no surprise to anyone who has been through a tough time.  Family and friends play a valuable, supportive role.  And when they’re not available, or don’t exisit, things are just more difficult.

With this background, maybe there are a couple of points to think about:

1.  If you are currently estranged from family and/or friends, now is the time to heal those relationships.  There will come a time when they need you or you need them.

2.  Don’t wait to let your family and friends know what’s going on when you enter a difficult season.  Let them into your situation, and help them understand how they can provide the support you need.

3.  Don’t be afraid to reach out to provide support to those who may be without family and friends.

So, who’s going to be there for you?  And who are you going to be there for?  Two very important questions to consider as we experience life together.

Yesterday and today I did some very intentional things aimed at making me feel better.

Yesterday I shot photos of birds and spent time test-driving Adobe Lightroom 2.0.  Photography is something that exercises my creative side, and something I’m working on getting better at.  Part of getting better is simplifying my post processing workflow while at the same time being able to effectively process the photos.  It was a great day of focus and learning.  And yes, I do like Lightroom.

Today I did yardwork all day.  I mowed and edged two yards both with large back yards.  It was a day of physical work, where the main focus was steering the mower and guiding the trimmer.  I enjoyed working with good tools, and being able to see the difference my work made.

And I feel better.  Emotionally.  And Physically — except for some soreness.

Sometimes Sabbath needs focused learning and even focused work to provide rest.

I made the decision over the weekend to reduce the number of weekly posts to Difficult Seasons.

I obviously enjoy writing this blog, and I certainly enjoy the interaction it provides with my readers.

But for some time I have been wanting to devote more time to writing on a wide variety of other subjects as well.  In order to do that, I need to reduce the time I have been devoting to writing posts for this blog.

I also have another motive.  I spend considerable time each week making hospital visits, leading a caregiver support group, providing family caregiving, and from time to time teaching as well.  While writing about these subjects helps me process, it also keeps me emotionally involved with these issues.  Reducing the amount of time writing about the subject will help me focus more time and energy on things that are renewing.

My goal is to write two posts a week, sometimes three, depending on what’s going on.  And as I get going on my personal blog, there’ll be links here, and I hope you’ll follow those posts as well.