Difficult Seasons

I’m thankful to Edward Fudge for a nice post about this blog.

Edward, an author and speaker, generally writes about interpretation of scripture, and I’ve been a long-time reader of his Gracemail email teaching letter.  I’m currently also reading his new commentary on the book of Hebrews.  Check out his website for more information.

When we have suffered a loss and as we move through the grieving that follows, we often express in words what we’ve lost.

Twitter Post by Karen Putz

I was reminded that sometimes how we describe our loss surprises others when I saw this Twitter post by Karen Putz (@deafmom) earlier this week.  Karen’s dad has esophageal cancer, and hasn’t really been able to eat normally for the last couple of months.  So in retrospect, his response to the doctor is right on, but it probably surprised everyone when he said it.

As we’re grieving a loss, we tend to express that loss in ways that are highly personal to us — in ways that truly describe what we miss dearly, and would like to have back.  It’s part of the longing for phase of grief.  Karen’s dad longs to be able to eat his wife’s cooking again — both because it’s good, and because that would mean that he’s dealt successfully with his cancer.

One of my favorite questions while visiting patients in the hospital has become, “What one thing are you praying for today?”

I ask that question for lots of reasons.  It helps me target my prayer with the person to pray specifically for what they want most that day.  There’s often a powerful connection between us as we join together in prayer with the words, “God, my prayer is _____ ‘s prayer.”  And it often provides an opportunity to talk about the real issue the person is struggling with that day.

Karen’s post reminded me of a recent visit.  When I first entered the room, most of my conversation was with the patient’s husband.  The patient was having some pain, and just wasn’t engaging.  But when I asked her if she’d like to pray, and specifically what her biggest request was, she jumped in and took over the conversation.  Her request was simple:  ”I want to be able to go back home and take care of my 101-year old mother, and help my sister get there so she can help.”  It represented both what she had lost, and what was important to her.  As we prayed together, she verbally reinforced my words with her “Amen’s” and “Yes, Lord’s.”

It was a special moment for all of us.  Her greatest desire had been heard and then expressed in prayer.

Karen’s post is one reason I’m active on Twitter — I’m always learning, and often being reminded of what’s important.  Asking good questions like Karen’s dad’s doctor did is important.

Thanks for the Twitter post, Karen.  And I am praying that your dad gets to eat your mom’s good cooking soon!

One of the books I’ve been reading is a commentary by Edward Fudge on the New Testament book Hebrews.  While scholarly, it reads more like a devotional book, which is what I’m using it for.

Last night I was reading the portion of the book that deals with Hebrews Chapter 4, which talks about entering the Rest of God. The point that jumped out at me was that we enter this rest only when our work is done.  Just like God worked for six days creating and then rested on the seventh day, our work will be ongoing until it’s done and then we will enter God’s “Sabbath” rest.

Perhaps the reason this jumped out at me is because several friends are struggling with seemingly unending times of difficulty.  John Dobbs wrote about the stormy days that he and his family have been going through.  In addition, just before I was reading Hebrews last night, I had read a note from a friend about a new difficulty their family was having to deal with — on top of other ongoing challenges.  And just to be honest, I’m a little worn out myself by some of the challenges we have been dealing with.

So here are some thoughts that occurred to me as I reflected on this portion of Hebrews:

1.  This life can be difficult.  We can look back and see how God has gotten us through difficult times in the past, and know that He will do the same in the present and the future.  But these difficulties wear us out.  We get tired — physically, mentally, and emotionally.

2.  Sometimes God relieves us of a difficulty.  A week ago, the doctors had given up hope for John’s father-in-law.  This week he’s at home recuperating.  My dad doesn’t require chemo or radiation for his bladder cancer.  You have similar stories you could tell.

3.  Sometimes God doesn’t remove the difficulty and challenge from our lives.  Our daughter Sara continues to suffer from a number of medical conditions that can be temporarily disabling, in spite of fervent prayer by so many.  You have similar stories in your life.

Our tiredness from dealing with these ongoing difficulties and challenges, however, does serve to make the Rest of God seem so much more desirable.

Rest is a wonderful thing to look forward to after our work here is finished.

You’ll only have to look at the photos of my mother-in-law and my dad to see that interacting with their grandkids and great grandchildren gives them a boost!

Reba, Sara, and Ben making apricot turnovers

Reba, my mother-in-law, was able to come spend several days with us recently, and we made sure to build in some time with her great grandchildren, as well as activities with her grandchildren.

One activity our daughter Sara planned with her was learning how to make apricot pies — a treat that’s become a trademark for Reba.  Turned out that Ben wanted in on the activity too.

So for about an hour, Reba gave step by step instructions and some of her tricks learned through experience to Sara.  It was meaningful for both.

And of course the rest of us enjoyed the fruit of that interaction!

Dad showing off his patriotic hat

This past weekend, Dad came over to celebrate the Fourth of July along with Sara and Mark and Kathy and his great grandchildren.

He loves to interact with children by trying to entertain them.

Looking at these photos and reflecting on how much both enjoyed these times reinforces for me the importance of planning intergenerational activities for them.  Not only is it good for them, it’s great for the younger generations.

Things happen in intergenerational settings that simply don’t in more homogeneous age gatherings.  Seniors become childlike.  Children become more adult-like.  Seniors gain appreciation and respect for the younger generations.  Those from the younger generations gain respect and appreciation for the Seniors.

So, when’s the last time you arranged some intergenerational activities for the senior adults in your life?  Why not join me in resolving to do it more?