Difficult Seasons

It’s Christmas night, about 11:00, and I just sat down to do some thinking about the past few days.

They’ve been good.

But sometimes they’ve also been a little challenging.

We have a new puppy, and she doesn’t play well with others yet. I was stubborn, and refused to board her. I’ve paid for it. She’s now chewing on her toy Sara gave her. Actually, she’s chewing on the shell of the toy, as she has already gotten to the stuffing which I removed and threw away. But she doesn’t seem to care much.

Eloise and I have learned to answer the same question again and again as if it’s the first time it was asked. My mother-in-law is visiting for a few days, and her short-term memory problem is worsening. But she has had a great time playing with great grandchildren and being with family, and we’re thankful she’s here.

I think it adds so much to have four generations together for Christmas, as we did today with Reba and my dad being part of the celebration. Their traditions that they handed to us are a big part of how we celebrate the season.

Our daughter-in-law Kathy’s parents are also in town, and we’ve gotten to spend time with them last night as we had tamales and opened some gifts at our house and again today at lunch at Mark and Kathy’s as we opened more gifts.  It’s so good to share grandchildren with such fine people.

We’ve had wonderful food — some of it traditional in our family, and some new things which may become part of the our tradition. Sara made Alabama Fruit from her grandmother’s recipe, and Kathy made a corn casserole that’s become part of the tradition. Last night’s tamales was a first for us, but it’s a long-time Texas Christmas tradition, and likely one that will become a standard for us as well.

But with all of this good food has come lots of dishwashing and cleaning. Our last load just went in the dishwasher a little while ago. Good things come at a price.

I guess what I’ve been thinking about is that our Christmas this year is just a slice of life. It’s the joy of family being together sharing food and each other, but also the challenges that this life brings. Part of it’s fun, and part of it’s hassle, and part of it’s just plain work.

But as I think over the past few days, what I choose to dwell on are not the challenges, not the hassle, not the work. I choose to dwell on the smiles, the laughter, the joy seen on the faces. I’ve captured many of those digitally, even more through the camera of my mind. And I’ll replay them again and again in coming days.

I hope your memories of this Christmas are also ones of joy!

As I’ve gotten older, there are two gifts that mean more to me than all of the others: mercy and grace.

It’s not that I don’t dearly appreciate the gifts of having enough and good health and toys and meaningful things to do.

But having God, family, and friends love me in spite of me is truly the priceless gift. They know me for who I really am, and it’s still okay. That’s an amazing feeling.

I hope you know that kind of love this Christmas season.

Merry Christmas to you, and thanks for your gifts of mercy and grace!

We had our annual Service of Remembrance yesterday afternoon.

A Service of Remembrance is something our church has done for lots of years on the Sunday before Christmas. It gives us an opportunity to come together and say out loud that there are dear people from our lives that are missing as we celebrate the holidays. Some of those we have lost died this year, and our pain is still intense. Some passed years ago, but there is still a hole in our hearts that can’t be filled.

The service itself is simple. We sing a few songs together, we listen to some other songs. We pray a prayer of remembrance together. We have responsive readings of scripture that emphasizes the hope we share. And the central part of the service is the lighting of the candle of remembrance, after which each person takes turns coming to the front of the chapel and naming the person or persons they’re remembering this year.

We recognize and remember that the reason for the season, the first coming of Jesus, provides the hope of our being reunited with those who have gone before.

After the service, we hang around, sharing some seasonal refreshments, some hugs, and some stories. We are bound together by our feelings of loss and hope.

It’s an emotional time, but amazingly healing. It’s an important time for many of us.

May you be blessed with wonderful memories, reassuring hope, and wonderful friends this Christmas season!

Good News

Good news is precious.

We, like the shepherds long ago, know that, because we have all been the receivers of bad news.

Someone we love has died.  We or someone we love dearly has cancer, ALS, Alzheimer’s, or some other dreaded disease.  A spouse says they don’t want to be married any more.  Our job is gone. Or a tornado or hurricane has destroyed our home and memories.

Here’s what the angel said when he came to visit the shepherds:

“I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people;  for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.” (Luke 2: 10-11)

What is this “good news of great joy?”

“For God had such love for the world that he gave his only Son, so that whoever has faith in him may not come to destruction but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

We’ve experienced enough of this life to understand why the hope of an eternal life free from the injustice, loss, and pain of this earthly life is precious.

And that’s why we celebrate the coming of Jesus.  His coming brought with it the hope that’s so precious to us, that keeps us going through the unimaginable.

Merry Christmas, folks.

A Christmas Present

I’m pretty sure that Christmas can be the hardest holiday of all for many people.

I think it’s especially true for folks that have lost a child or a spouse, and for those who are divorced or in the process of being divorced.

Why? Here are a few reasons I’ll throw out for your consideration:

• Christmas is a season.  It’s not just a day that comes and goes.  The hype starts the day after Halloween, and builds to a frenzied pace beginning about the first of December.

• There are obligations tied to Christmas that you really can’t avoid.  There are presents to buy, events to attend/host, and decorating to do.

• Christmas is defined as “fun and happy.” We learn to anticipate fun and gifts and being happy as kids.  And all of this is associated with family.  We develop our own things to do and ways of doing them with those we love most.  So if they’re gone, whether through death or divorce, it’s not only not fun and happy, but we don’t even know how to do Christmas.

So what do you do if you’re in this situation?

The best that you can. You acknowledge that things are different.  You make some changes in how you celebrate Christmas.  And sometimes you have to act better to feel better.

What makes Christmas hard for you?  What ways have you found to cope?