Difficult Seasons

Life is Fragile

Prentice Meador died at 6:08 Tuesday morning.  What started out on Thursday night as a sore throat and fever turned to a raging infection and complete organ failure within 24 hours.  Despite valiant efforts throughout the weekend and Monday, his body and modern medicine couldn’t defeat a tiny bug.

I didn’t know Meador except by reputation.  He was an exceptional preacher and church leader, and highly respected.  My only interaction with him came a few years back when I was trying to promote an idea and wrote to a couple of dozen prominate ministers.  Meador was the one who actually wrote me back, and for that I was grateful.

Our grandson Ben caught a similar nasty bug about 18 months ago.  After 11 days in ICU, the valiant efforts of medical personnel, and several things I can only credit as God things, Ben left the hospital completely recovered, and with no after-effects.

Like you, I know that life is fragile.  Like you, I know that sometimes good people get nasty illnesses and die.  Like you, I know that sometimes good people get nasty illnesses and survive.  I don’t understand why.  I just know things work this way.

As Thanksgiving comes this year, I am thankful beyond any words I’ll ever be able to find that Ben survived his bout with the nasty bug.  His presence in our lives is a radiance I can’t imagine being without.

Yet I’m also mindful of the huge hole in so many lives this Thanksgiving that Meador’s passing leaves, because they can’t imagine their lives without his radiance.

I’m mindful that as you’re reading this, that you’re likely in the same boat as I am as Thanksgiving rolls around.  There have been some wins in your life, and there have been some losses.

May God accept my thanksgiving I can’t put words to for the wins.  And may He accept my grieving for those who have gone on before as thanksgiving also, for my grieving is my expression of how important these folks were/are in my life.

Thanksgiving Dinner

The Thanksgiving – Christmas holiday season is almost always really tough for those suffering loss.

These are family times, filled with family traditions, family gatherings, and family memories.  So a loss, whether it’s a death, broken relationships, a critical illness, a job loss, or something else, sticks out like a sore thumb.  It’s painful for everyone involved.

Part of the pain is the awkwardness of family gatherings.  The old normal is gone.

Often it’s hard for everyone involved to know how to handle the time together.  Do you risk bringing everyone down by talking about it?  Or do you just try to ignore that something has happened in hopes that you can get through the time together?

What do you do with the elephant in the middle of the room?

Everyone has to do what works for them and their family dynamics.  But here are a couple of ideas to get you started thinking about it:

• Some friends of ours set an extra two chairs at their Thanksgiving table, one for a dad who had recently passed, and one for a mom in the final stages of Alzheimer’s.  It’s their way of acknowledging the losses while asserting their continuing presence in spirit.
• We have made expressing some words of thanks for our parents who have gone on ahead a part of our own family Thanksgiving tradition.  It’s our way of acknowledging their continuing importance to our family.

I bet some of you have developed your own ways to deal with this time.  It would be great if you’d share them in the comments.