Difficult Seasons

Visiting the Hospital

One of the reasons we like conversing with others is that we get to tell our stories.  In fact, if we don’t get to tell our stories because the other person monopolizes the conversation, we’re unlikely to seek out that person for a conversation again.

But when you visit someone in the hospital, don’t tell your stories.

Listen to their stories instead.  You’re there for them, not for you.

They’re going to say things that trigger your stories.  Your stories might be about when you were in the hospital, or your aunt was in the hospital, or about your experience with a doctor, or whatever.  And they might be good stories…for another time.

These kinds of stories will not be helpful to the person you’ve gone to visit.  In fact, they might be disturbing.

Do pay attention to what stories are brought to your consciousness, however.  They help you empathize and connect to the person you’re visiting.  Just don’t tell them.

It turns out that listening is the greatest gift we can give someone, especially when they’re in the midst of a difficult season.  So just ask questions, listen and be curious, and bless them.

This may be the hardest part of making a hospital visit.  But I promise you, the more you practice it and see the results, the more determined you’ll become to be a first-class listener!

Photo Credit: João Almeida (t3mujin)

People all around us, people that we meet up with any given day, are hurting.

Sometimes we know.  Sometimes we’re unaware.  But chances are, a number of the people you rub shoulders with today are struggling with a loss.

Yesterday morning when the alarm woke me, one of my first thoughts was of a friend whose dad was in his final days of a long struggle with Alzheimers, and I prayed for her family.

Arriving at church, I expressed my sorrow to a man who sits near us over the death of his dad this past week.  He talked about how he had expected it, just not right now, and that it was a shock.  His wife mentioned the shock of her mom’s death seven years ago even after a long illness, noting that we’re never prepared.

Across the room I caught a glimpse of another friend whose brother also had died this past week.  And during prayer time, a family I know came for prayer about a mom losing a long battle with cancer.

They, and lots of others I know of, are hurting.  And I and others are able to provide support, express concern, and lift them in prayer.

But what about the others, the ones that have the same hurts, but that I’m unaware of?  That you’re unaware of?  People who are carrying their pain all by themselves?

They just need someone that will show the interest to ask.  And someone that will take the time to listen.  It’s not that they want to carry it all by themselves.  They just need for someone, you or me,  to show that we’re interested and really want to know how they’re doing.

So who is it you’ll rub shoulders with today that’s in pain?  Who is it that you’ll rub shoulders with today that you’re the one uniquely positioned to serve by asking and listening?